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Friday, 2 November 2012

Another Anniversary...

5th Sept 2012

It is always great to celebrate anniversaries and it is even more wonderful when the peeps are counting their years together. We all say very well-done when we hear couples celebrating 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years together and rejoice that they have seemingly beaten the odds.

However sometimes, the slightly cynical side of me (which manages to co-exist quite happily with my optimistic naive side) wonders the following?

How many years of being physically or emotionally abused might the couple be celebrating?

How many years of unrelenting vicious verbal abuse might they be giving thanks for?

How many years of not sleeping together or not even sharing the same bedroom might you (the couple) be rejoicing at?

How many years of unrelenting boredom might you be being thankful for?

How many years of marital strife, hardship, sorrow might you be putting a brave face upon?

How many years of your adultery or your partner's adultery might be being celebrated??

How many years of no trust, no laughter, no fun together, no affection is possibly being danced at?

And how many years of the death of love and friendship is being leapt for joy at?

Now please do not misunderstand me - there are many happy marriages out there and a happy fulfilling marriage is one of the most rewarding things in the world. I am a firm believer in happy marriages - I've watched my parents who are happy together. 

HOWEVER, too often, too many put more emphasis on the quantity of years of the marriage and do not pay enough attention to the quality of the years of the marriage.

It is better to be married at 40 and share 20 happy years together (if you just happen to conk dead at 60! LOL), than it is to be married at 20 and share 40 miserable, unhappy, torture-laden, prison-like, jail sentence of a union together.

Be honest with yourself - if your marriage is more jail sentence than it is happy union, stop celebrating fake anniversaries. Sit down with your partner, talk honestly and openly, and try to see if you can go back to the beginning, rebuild new foundations and try to re-capture what you once had and shared, and try to start a new journey of joy.

Remember, it is better to have 10 happy years of love, joy and laughter with the right person, than 40 unhappy years of pain, tears and sorrow with the wrong person. The choice to turn around the wrongest marital ship is in the hands of the two of you in the union.

Choose life and not death (an empty emotionally cold unfulfilled existence). Choose laughter and not tears. Choose true unity and not icy or indifferent distance. Choose a life of happiness and not a life filled with pain... 


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