Weight Loss - My journey

I have struggled with my weight since I turned ten. For a skinny child who could not put on a pound no matter how much or little she ate and was regularly dosed with ‘Complan’ & ‘Weight-on’ by my worried momma, puberty hit hard. Bumps, lumps and dumps sprouted, and by the time I was 13, I had ballooned to the great weight of 110 lbs (50kg). It was no consolation that I stayed 110 lbs for the next 7yrs (that my weight-height ratio and BMI were fine) –what mattered was that I was nicely padded. Greatest bane of my life was that my waist was 26inches instead of the 23inch waist most of my friends had.

I look back upon the teenager I was and roll about on the floor laughing! Oh to be 110 lbs again!

Being married & pregnant when I was 20 ended 110 lbs. Forced into bed-rest while 'enciente', I mega-blew up and one healthy great-looking son later, was almost 50 lbs (22.7kg) heavier! Over the next 8 yrs, I proceeded to lose a few pounds and promptly put em and more back on. Divorce and single parenthood probably didn’t help much. Finally I was one round ball of lard & the scales (and fat me) had hit 189 lbs (86kg).

This was until the period I’ll call ‘1st weight loss journey’. Over 6 months of an ad-hoc diet and going to the gym sporadically, the weight fell off. I was down to 144 lbs (65kg) and a size 12. My waist which started out a tape-busting measurement of 38inches finally shrank to 30/31inches. I could live with that. Very happily!

This brilliant state of affairs lasted quite a few years. Then I fell in love, had my heart broken, buried myself in work, and because of my insane working hours, began eating at crazy times & snacking while working. 2yrs of that madness, aided by loads of platefuls of rice, numerous thick slices of hard-dough bread wilting under lashings of butter, forkfuls of pasta smothered in sauce & regular tuck-ins of burgers and fries, and stuffed-crust meat feast pizzas, and the weight fell upon me, embracing my frame with 'loving' glee!

Soon, I was up to 150lbs. I shrugged - c'mon, who can't lose 10 lbs? Slowly the needle on the scale hit 160lbs, then 165lbs, at which point I tossed out those ‘nasty’ scales. So what if my waist was now 34/35 inches and I was a UK size 14, then Size 16? I could lose it all anytime I set my mind to do so. (Great joke hmmmmm!).

I did have very short windows where I tried diets for a few weeks and lost a stone or so but those brief periods of sanity passed all too quickly. Then my job became extra-stressful, I stopped walking anywhere and drove everywhere and as the inches and lbs piled on, I became despondent and comfort ate until the new set of scales hit 189lbs and I was a size 18. I promptly thrashed the new ‘lying’ scales and resolved the problem by buying baggier clothes. *Simples!*

12 months later, 3 chins wobblier, 2 further dress sizes up, I gingerly unwrapped a new set of scales and stepped upon em. After rubbing my eyes to clear my fading eyesight, fishing out my clearly blurred contact lenses to wear my glasses, cleaning afore-said obviously foggy glasses, hopping on the scales a dozen times, gingerly standing on one foot, stripping off all my clothing. I was finally forced to admit/accept/digest the horrible truth. I had shot up to an earth-thundering, mammoth-resembling, stupendous 209 lbs (95kg). I weighed almost as much as TWO of 20yr old me!

Ok, after freaking out and having heart-thumping panic attacks, I finally did the smartest, most sensible thing I’ve ever done re my weight. I took it to God and began praying – hard!

14 months ago, God shook my shoulder one morning and said, “It’s time we get started on losing this weight.”

And thus my new weight-loss journey began. Over the last 14 months, I have lost 55lbs, began going to the gym again after a complete 10yr break, started loving and eating loads of fruit and veg, replaced soda and fruit-juice with copious gallons of water and green tea, walked miles, taken up running (okay, okay, shuffling) and crafted a diet or eating-plan that appears to work for me.

But if that sounds very noble and industrious, I’ll confess that I have slipped loads - I have cheated, stopped exercising too many more times than I care to remember, and last Novermber and December totally threw my eating healthy plan out of the window.

Despite spending the last two months chomping away upon rice and bread (my greatest weaknesses), interspaced with puff-puff and Asaro, the Lord is gracious. I put on about 4lbs, 2 inches round my waist and stomach but was still 51lbs less than I was when I began this trek.

But finally, a few days ago, the Lord was able to break through to my carb-loving, exercise-procrastinating self and I picked up my weight-loss ball again. I’ve lost the 4lbs, whittled away 1 inch off the waist, began walking 5 miles again at least 5 times a week and I head back to the torture chamber (oops Gym) this week.

Today I am 154 lbs (70kg), UK size 12 with a 29.5inch waist. Soooooo, what’s my weight-loss goal? 120lbs, UK size 10 and a 26/27inch waist.

Weight-loss and maintenance is a marathon not a sprint (sadly). It is a life-long journey not a short holiday. I have 34lbs to get to my destination and a life-time to stay there. What helps me walk this road, is the knowledge that God cares about everything that concerns me and it’s a journey where I am carried on His shoulders.

The wistful 20yr old in me would like to see 110lbs again but hey, I’ll be dancing a jig the day I step on those scales and they say 120lbs.