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Thursday, 26 January 2012

71lbs (32kg) lighter - My Weight Loss Journey continued.

Okay - for anyone who read my last postcard on weight-loss titled 70lbs lighter, they’ll know I said I was actually only 65lbs lighter. However after losing 6lbs since then, I am 71lbs lighter and now weigh 138lbs.

Writing about my weight has been one of the hardest things I have done. In many ways, it has been akin to stripping myself naked in public – something I am definitely not comfortable with. At my very heaviest of 209lbs just over 2 years ago, I would rather have been flayed alive than talked about what I weighted. I was embarrassed, ashamed, overwhelmed and if you valued your life and existence, you would not have been taking photographs of me! LOL. I remember when I first felt a leading to write about my weight-loss journey a year ago, I wrote my first blog weight-loss postcard but was so uncomfortable,  I didn't post it for THREE days . Although I had begun losing the weight, talking about everything and how bad it had been was way too personal. It was a peek into my very soul. It was revisiting the scene of what felt like personal failure and pain. It hurt. A lot. But once it was done, it was very freeing. The tight grasp of shame and failure was lifted and it was like – ok – so what? So, what if it had been bad? GOD’s helping me and I am free!!!

It has been a while since I wrote a weight-loss postcard so here goes: the last few months since October have NOT gone according to plan – poor health meant I had to give up my 30 day running challenge mid-way and I haven’t been able to exercise since then. A catalogue of really bad migraines, constantly re-occurring flu & other health issues have meant than almost any exertion has been severely punished with another health episode. Extremely frustrating does not describe it adequately but hey, it’s taught me how to like really value good health, something I have taken for granted over the years, so that’s not such a bad thing, eh?

Although there’s been no exercise, sticking to the healthy eating plan is paying off. My weight did initially jump up when all exercise was stopped but it’s stabilised now and is going in the right direction – DOWN! LOL. After gaining 14lbs initially, I have lost all that and an additional 6lbs so I am finally now in the 130’s. Oh my goodness – you don’t know how good it feels to say that – yes, it might only be 138lbs but take it from someone looking at 209lbs a couple of years ago, 138lbs is sheer bliss. I also like the 130’s because from being 110lbs before having my son, after that, I have never been below 144lbs. Suddenly healthy weight range is within touching distance. A further loss of 2lbs and I’ll have hit the upper end of my healthy weight range. I weigh 9 stone 12lbs, below 10 stone for the first time in over 22years. Ok – I am stopping for a moment to dance around the room in sheer joy!

It’s not the end of the journey, far far from it. I still want to get down to 120lbs if I can. I would like to lose 2 - 3inches around my waist, currently 28.5inches. I want to tone up a lot more but finally, the end of one part of the journey is within grasp - getting to a healthy ideal BMI has been one of my goals and I am touching it. There’ll also be the life-long journey of maintaining it.

The last 3 months have been the hardest ever. I have CRAVED Rice and Iyan/Egusi and Yam Pottage and fried Yam and Puff-puff and Jamo bread – all my previously documented weaknesses. I have had a few bad days where I have given in and had a Chinese take-away. However, very luckily for me, I have had someone there to talk me out of it almost every time my resolve hits the ground. Don’t misunderstand, this is not about deprivation and it’s not like I intend to phase all those things out of my life completely (GOD forbid), but I want to re-introduce them back gradually and gently, with much smaller portions and cooked healthier. Not having a kitchen the last 3 months has meant the only way to eat those things would be by getting Nigerian take-aways – definitely not cooked healthily, large portions, and swimming in palm-oil and other things not good for my waistline. So here’s a shout-out to my diet-buddy – you have stopped me getting fat over the last 3 months! J

Clothes fit better. I am happier with myself. But do I still struggle? Yes. Do I still want to comfort eat? Yes. A few days ago, the LORD had to stop me from rushing down to Starbucks to down enough calories to set me back days because I was upset. Do I still walk into clothes shops and see myself as fat? Yes. I’ll pick up the same outfit in 2 or different 3 sizes to try on because I still mentally see myself as larger. Do I like how I look? Sometimes I do but many times I don't. I still beat myself up over the areas I need to work on – arms/thighs/stomach but I am becoming a lot more accepting of me. I will never be skinny and don’t want to be – but I can be healthy and the best me I can be and that’s what I want to be.

Today I am 138lbs (62.7kg), UK size 10/12 with a 28 – 28.5inch waist. My weight-loss goal remains 120lbs (55kg), UK size 10 and a 26/27inch waist.

My current BMI is 25.3 (overweight) but it was 38.3 (Obese) at the start. My body fat percentage is now 23%.  It started out as 41.3% (Obese).  21 – 24%  is the body fat fitness range. The ideal BMI range is 18 – 24.9. So my body fat is fine and I am just within touching distance of a healthy BMI.

While the lack of exercise means I obviously do NOT feel very fit at the moment, it feels good that I am not 'carrying' all the weight I used to lug around with me.

I am not yet just where I want to be but I am a whole lot closer. Thank you LORD.



MissHaneefa said...

Amazing work on your loss. You should be so proud of yourself.

Anonymous said...

Well done!! Inspiring...