Why do I write?

Writing can come across as cool and collected. It sometimes sounds like the writer has all the answers. What a crock! Sometimes I write with tears in my eyes - sometimes I write about holding unto GOD even as my fingers slip and ache. I have written a piece where I was crying so hard, I had to keep stopping to scrub the tears away, swipe away the snot running from my nose and peer at the screen through the tiny slits of my swollen eyes (now that definitely was not my most attractive look - giggle). I have also written pieces where I am laughing so much, I lose track of my words. I write about faith when mine is at its lowest ebb. I also write about faith when mine is so pumped up, I could virtually move mountains. I write about losing weight while struggling to lose even a lb. I write about joy when my heart might be heavy. I've written about heart-break when my heart was filled with love. I have written about love when my heart was breaking.

I write. I write to feel better. I write about where I am, I write about where I want to be. I write about who I am, I write about who I want to be. I write to express my deepest desires. I write to plumb my greatest fears. I write to examine my subconscious, lay it bare and see where I am. I write to strip off the veils and masks that I sometimes unknowingly hide behind. I write to discover my weaknesses and strengths, to examine my flaws, beauty and ugliness. I write to stir up my faith. I write to hold unto GOD. I write because there is a burning passion within me that sometimes can only be expressed in the written word. Writing is a journey embarked upon to discover self. I write for myself first, and I am thrilled yet still surprised if anyone else reads it and/or comments upon it.

Sometimes I can write my heart and sometimes the words refuse to come. Sometimes the words are an overwelming flood and at other times a tiny trickle. Sometimes I write from the head but more often I write from my heart.

I write to explore me. I write to express me. My loves come through - GOD, Jesus Christ, my family, football, politics, Africa, weight-loss, relationships, friendships and my sometimes quirky slant on life. I am real when I write - mee is who you see. Sometimes, I struggle to put words down the way I think them. I admire the way other people write and often wish I could write better. I am rarely satisfied with a piece but I've learned to suck it up and just keep writing.

So why do I write? Is writing only a journey embarked upon to discover self? I do not know. I simply know that if I want to continue to know me, I must write. 

xx