Passion Regained

I wrote the previous piece, 'Passion Lost', back at the beginning of the November but didn't get round to posting it until earlier today. 

All I can say is - life is awesome when passion returns. It is a mega feeling to no longer be in the place that I was. GOD is my greatest passion and when I take my eyes off Him, then things begin to suck big-time. However, when passion and motivation return, things around that weren't working begin to fall into place.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have miraculously had a few more places rented, my bank manager has stopped snarling every time he sees me, *giggle* and I actually found the car I really want at an awesome price - however, I sadly lost out on that so I am still searching.  I even have high hopes the saga of my still-not-yet-finished kitchen will be completed before the end of December. I did not quite get round to watching every James Bond film but caught quite a few, and I have also now just yesterday had my hair coloured. It is still in twists but the new colour gives it a cool new look (I think). I'll give it a few days and then maybe put up a couple of pics of the new look. 

I finally am beginning to get excited about the thought of writing again. I've had the outline of a book dancing and floating about in my head for a while but had not got round to doing more than sketching out the bare outline. And, one of my greatest bug-bears - I actually got round to revisiting the novel I finished yonks ago and I am now 60% through what will hopefully be the final rewrite.

Best of all, I have lost the nasty crappy 15lbs I put on the last few months. Being back to 62kg is a whole lot better than tethering on 69kg! LOL. All I need to do now is to get down to 58kg and I'll be a verryyyyyyy happy camper.

Passion is an awesome thing. Embrace it and don't ever let it go.

xx

Passion Lost

1st November 2012

One of the words that describes me is passionate. I am passionate about life, about what I believe in, politics, Nigeria and Africa, the people I love etc etc. I've always wondered how people get bored. I am never bored. I love my own company and also love hanging with other people. I have a vast inner landscape that keeps me constantly occupied. I can live in my head and simply enjoy my thoughts. Throw me on a desert Island alone with food, books and a way of writing and I'll happily survive for at least a year. One of my most fun activities is driving alone at night up dark motorway, music blasting, air-conditioner on - alone with my thoughts and chilling with myself.

Does this make me sound like a loner? Far from it. I love being around people. I love being with people I love. I love talking and hanging with my friends - in person or over the phone.

However, the last few weeks have felt grey. It has been a loss of passion. Before these few weeks, I took it for granted that I always woke up with a bounce in my step; that I never stopped being optimistic; that I have always really believed no matter how crappy things were, that something good was around the corner. I have learnt now, that I was like that because I had the wonderful gift that is passion - the gift of loving life, and the people in my life totally.

It was a shock to find my job boring, to not feel like writing, to find myself seeing life in a different way. Yes it is true that I had a lot going on - things hit a slump work-wise, my finances were in a mess, my sturdy car packed up on me and was a write-off - but I have had all this and more thrown at me in the past, and I still saw life in glorious colour. 'Of course' in the middle of all of this, I turned to food. Food is always comforting, isn't it? Shame the lbs it adds on are sooooooo not comforting! *pout*

So what did I do when I realised grey was becoming the new colour of the landscape of my life? I prayed first. Then I began tidying my house, decluttering, dumping stuff and putting other things in the loft. I wrote up an action plan to tackle some aspects of my job, I chilled by digging out a stack of books from my library and reading loads to relax and I began watching a little more tv. Instead of the my usual fare of the News, I am watching Numbrs, Castle, Criminal Minds, Burden of Proof etc. I intend to veg out one weekend watching the new Sky 007 Channel. It will be interesting to see if I can get through every James Bond film.

This week I have rented out a couple of places that have been empty for a few months due to renovation and other issues. That immediately gives my finances a welcome kick-boost. Next week I'll need to start looking for a car as work and my life means living without a car is waaaaayyyyyyy tooooooooo difficult. Instead of twisting my hair myself, I plan to go to a salon, give myself the works, and get em twisted and have colour added. I'll also begin seriously working on the 15lbs I foolishly allowed myself to pile on over the last couple of months.

Sometimes, it is only when you lose stuff, that you realise many things are a gift. I am not yet back to 100% passion of my passionate self but I am at 65% - 70%. Compared to where I was last week, I could dance a jig.

xx

Fallen ~ Sarah McLachlan ( Video & lyrics)

I've had this song on loop for the past hour. It speaks so deeply to me & feels like a poem. While the lyrics are sad and full of regret and loss, they don't leave me melancholy. Why? Because I look at my life, and instead of reflecting upon my very many mistakes, I am instead  compelled to reflect upon GOD who has wiped away everything I've ever done wrong. His love makes me clean and new and whole. His answer for my sins is grace, forgiveness and mercy. Precious LORD, I fall deeper in love with You everyday. The day I met JESUS was the greatest day ever. 

It doesn't matter what we've done or think we've done, GOD's forgiveness and grace is available to anyone who truly asks for it.

xx


                                                             Sarah Mclachlan - Fallen

                                         

Heaven bend to take my hand and lead me through the fire 
Be the long awaited answer to a long and painful fight 
Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere along the way, I got caught up in all there was to offer 
But the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried,

(Chorus)
I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know 
So don't come 'round here and
Tell me I told you so

We all begin with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything 
I've held so dear

[Chorus]
I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know 
So don't come 'round here and
Tell me I told you so

Oh,

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads, embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one miss step, one slip, before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried,

[Chorus]
I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know 
So don't come 'round here and
Tell me I told you so

Oh,
I've messed up
Better I should know
Don't come 'round here and
Tell me I told you so

Do you want to achieve your fullest potential?

“Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.” ~ Martin Heidegger

Just watched NCIS and McGee gave the brilliant quote above that I simply had to google to find out more about.

GOD has given us the awesome gift of life AND all we need to be the best and greatest that we can be as we crawl/walk/run our own individual paths. What we do with this gift, the gazilliion choices we make whether good or bad, right or wrong; the paths we turn down; the people we associate with; the influences we are governed by etc etc, all go towards shaping the outcome of our lives.

Truly we are all born with the amazing potential to become 'many different people'. Each human being has the capacity to be a 1001 different people; we are all born into a life that hands us a clean slate to write the screenplay of our life on.

However, eventually in death, each man or woman will die as that one person who is the sum of all the choices each individual chooses to make along their journey of life.

It is mega important to make wise choices. Our lives, our very existence, will continue to be shaped by and depend upon our choices.  Don't let anyone tell you that your dreams are out of reach, that you are wanting too much and need to be like everyone else and settle for the mediocre and easy. Don't let anyone deter you from studying your very hardest in school, or being determined to strive to do your best at your job. Do not let anyone mock your passion to be the very best you possibly can be. 

Everyone has the same amazing capacity to achieve the level of greatness life has determined for them but some choose to bury their potential because of fear, unbelief or laziness, while others are ground down by misfortune etc. Whatever has stopped or derailed another person's potential, whatever might have made them bitter or frustrated, whatever has made them give up, do NOT allow their negativity to destroy or impact your journey. Do not be pulled down from the greatness that you strive for by the petty machinations of others. 

Success and achieving your fullest potential is not who has the best grades, the most money, the highest sounding job title etc etc. Success is who has challenged themselves to be the very best they can be despite the limitations and difficulties we will all come across. It is challenging your destiny and pushing the boundaries. It is getting up doggedly no matter how many times life tries to knock you down.

We only get this one life to live - tis vital to be wise & smart. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and encourage you along your path. Encourage others to fulfil their dreams. EVERYONE needs cheerleaders. 

Let's choose to live to the very fullest of our amazing potential.

xx

To your own self be true

Facebook and writing a blog has taught me to develop a thick skin. I write and share my opinions on a range of topics. However, the fundamental lesson I've learned is the hardening of my belief that first and foremost, a writer writes for themselves, and then shares their own believes and convictions. If you ever write solely for your audience, you'll lose your authentic voice as you seek to tailor yourself to please different opinions.

I have been told I am too serious, while also being told by others that I am not serious enough. My Christianity has been called too liberal, while others call it too conservative. I have been called dogmatic, while also being told I lack conviction. Some say I write too much about JESUS, while others say I do not mention JESUS enough. I have been called funny while others say I am boring. I have been called anti-women, while others have said I am anti-men. I have been called a feminist while others have said I am anti-feminist and shoving women back into the dark ages. I have been called a GEJ critic, while some have called me a GEJ supporter, I have been told I clearly love Nigeria while others have called me a traitor for living abroad. I have been told I am slim enough now & should stop the weight loss plan while some have said I am still too fat and need to work hard at it.

Humble, arrogant, too British, too Nigerian, too talkative, too quiet, friendly, reserved, etc etc etc. The dichotomy of views have sometimes made me laugh out loud!

I look at the above and I wonder who it is some of these peeps are talking about. My convictions are flexible while being rigid. I can see both sides of the argument, and if I want I can argue both opposing views convincingly & passionately. Most of the time, I believe the right solution is a combination of ideas and viewpoints. Life is rarely black and white in my book but is many shades of grey. However, there are also fundamental truths I will not shift on. I am as grateful to those who praise my writing as I am to those who critique it and sometimes disparage or mock it.

Speak with your own voice. Stand for the truth you believe. Never ever worry if you are the only one who holds a viewpoint. If you truly believe it, then don't follow the crowd. Peer pressure is subtle but insidious - shrug it off. Don't seek adulation or the approval of men. The same crowd that loves you today can stone you tomorrow. 

Be true to yourself always. 

xx

Another Anniversary...

5th Sept 2012

It is always great to celebrate anniversaries and it is even more wonderful when the peeps are counting their years together. We all say very well-done when we hear couples celebrating 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years together and rejoice that they have seemingly beaten the odds.

However sometimes, the slightly cynical side of me (which manages to co-exist quite happily with my optimistic naive side) wonders the following?

How many years of being physically or emotionally abused might the couple be celebrating?

How many years of unrelenting vicious verbal abuse might they be giving thanks for?

How many years of not sleeping together or not even sharing the same bedroom might you (the couple) be rejoicing at?

How many years of unrelenting boredom might you be being thankful for?

How many years of marital strife, hardship, sorrow might you be putting a brave face upon?

How many years of your adultery or your partner's adultery might be being celebrated??

How many years of no trust, no laughter, no fun together, no affection is possibly being danced at?

And how many years of the death of love and friendship is being leapt for joy at?

Now please do not misunderstand me - there are many happy marriages out there and a happy fulfilling marriage is one of the most rewarding things in the world. I am a firm believer in happy marriages - I've watched my parents who are happy together. 

HOWEVER, too often, too many put more emphasis on the quantity of years of the marriage and do not pay enough attention to the quality of the years of the marriage.

It is better to be married at 40 and share 20 happy years together (if you just happen to conk dead at 60! LOL), than it is to be married at 20 and share 40 miserable, unhappy, torture-laden, prison-like, jail sentence of a union together.

Be honest with yourself - if your marriage is more jail sentence than it is happy union, stop celebrating fake anniversaries. Sit down with your partner, talk honestly and openly, and try to see if you can go back to the beginning, rebuild new foundations and try to re-capture what you once had and shared, and try to start a new journey of joy.

Remember, it is better to have 10 happy years of love, joy and laughter with the right person, than 40 unhappy years of pain, tears and sorrow with the wrong person. The choice to turn around the wrongest marital ship is in the hands of the two of you in the union.

Choose life and not death (an empty emotionally cold unfulfilled existence). Choose laughter and not tears. Choose true unity and not icy or indifferent distance. Choose a life of happiness and not a life filled with pain... 

xx

Life is for living... live it to the fullest.

Again, I am forced to reflect on something that has been a theme close to my heart all year; life is short.

Life is to be lived. No-one knows what tomorrow will bring. No-one knows if they'll actually have tomorrow. We all only ever get one stab at life.

I am posting this because my best friend's just called me to say some-one we both know has died. I didn't know the lady very well, she was just another sister in the fellowship I attended after Uni. I know her older sister a lot better. I dimly recollect that my very last 'proper' memory of her is running into her at her sister's office. My best friend and I went to see her sis, and she just happened to be there. Year's later, I ran into her on FB but we never became 'friends' on there - just one of those things - sometime one chats  from time to time with peeps one knows vaguely, but neither party get round to sending a friend request to the other.

My heart and thoughts are with Sista Ada's family and friends. She was taken too early and that sucks. It hurts. Death sucks. It sucks big-time. My consolation, my hope, my strength, is in my deep-rooted total belief and trust, that for those who believe, death is not the end. It is a transition to an eternity with GOD. The Lord JESUS died so that we might have a full life in this existence and also an awesome life in eternity.

So grab your today with both hands and live it to the fullest. Do the things that really matter to you. Connect with friends and family. Hang-out with your loved ones. Follow your dreams and passions.

Reach out to GOD. Fall in love with Him and have a real relationship with Him. Do NOT just follow the tenets of a 'religion'. Religion, that Pharaseetical thing, which man embraces, and then layers with endless rules and regulations, kills. It breeds self-righteousness and a false belief that our morality and obeying endless rules and regulations will make us pleasing to GOD. JESUS spent His time on earth lambasting 'religion' - the embrace of rules and regulations which mankind does to feel good, without having any desire or love for GOD or for any relationship with Him. JESUS did not die on the Cross so that mankind could get bogged down with the endless bureaucratic red-tape of religion. He died to reconcile us to GOD. GOD is real. Reach out for Him. Find JESUS. He loves you to bits and pieces. He is busy knocking at the door of your heart no matter what you might believe in or how you are choosing to live life right at this moment in time. Do not let anyone, whether an external voice, or an internal voice, ever tell you that you are too bad for GOD to love. We do not ever have to change ourselves so He can love us. GOD loves you passionately, deeply, totally, just as you are. It is in embracing and accepting His love, and entering into a relationship with Him, that we find ourselves changing almost effortlessly.

Sort through your life and live a full life, one that is lived with joy, love and laughter - not a life that is endured through gritted teeth. Sometimes, getting the life we want might mean making difficult choices, painful choices, scary choices; but you'll never know how those choices might pan out until you go for them.

Embrace life. Embrace living. We all get only one life to live. It truly is an awesome, scary, thrilling, sometimes knuckle-whitening adventure. But when we choose to live our lives with joy, faith, hope, laughter, passion and love, it is a testament that we respect and value the greatest gift we've been given.

xx

Masks...

We all wear masks (sometimes). 

We wear different masks with different people, and at different times to hide or camouflage the parts of ourselves we believe are inadequate or ugly. Sometimes mask-wearing is a defence mechanism, sometimes it is a social mechanism. Some masks have become such a part of us, we are no longer even aware when that particular mask is donned or what our 'true face' looks like.

Some of us wear masks of happiness while being desperately unhappy or miserable; we wear masks of courage while being deathly afraid; don masks of outgoing vibrancy while being painfully shy; sometimes masks of pride to hide the chip on the shoulder; some yank on masks of niceness to hide the nastiness lurking beneath. 

Stroll through that mental mask boutique that has set up store in your mind, and you'll see there are a 1001 different masks, all waiting to be chosen and donned for the right occasion, for anyone who chooses to hide their real self behind em.

However, what is truly sad is when we still continue to hide behind our masks with those we love. We are terrified that if they see how ugly and flawed we are (or we think we are), they'll stop loving us or respecting us. However, the truth that fear stops us recognising, is that those who really love us, see us exactly as we are but have chosen to love us all the same. It is only when we finally screw up enough courage to drop all the mask(s) in their presence, that we will really begin to see ourselves & learn to work on our flaws. Looking at ourselves through eyes of love helps us see the true beauty we possess that we need to embrace.

Mask-wearing is a choice. It is up to us to begin to discard the masks and see our true selves.

Drop your mask(s) today.

xx

Can Men and Women be 'Just Friends' ?

Read this article earlier. Whatcha think? Can men and women really and truly be 'just friends'? Or is one person in the friendship always left wanting more? Anyone have any thoughts?? ;-)

By Adrian F. Ward | Scientific American – Tue, Oct 23, 2012

Can heterosexual men and women ever be “just friends”? Few other questions have provoked debates as intense, family dinners as awkward, literature as lurid, or movies as memorable. Still, the question remains unanswered. Daily experience suggests that non-romantic friendships between males and females are not only possible, but common—men and women live, work, and play side-by-side, and generally seem to be able to avoid spontaneously sleeping together. However, the possibility remains that this apparently platonic coexistence is merely a façade, an elaborate dance covering up countless sexual impulses bubbling just beneath the surface.

New research suggests that there may be some truth to this possibility—that we may think we’re capable of being “just friends” with members of the opposite sex, but the opportunity (or perceived opportunity) for “romance” is often lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce at the most inopportune moment.

In order to investigate the viability of truly platonic opposite-sex friendships—a topic that has been explored more on the silver screen than in the science lab—researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab.  Privacy was paramount—for example, imagine the fallout if two friends learned that one—and only one—had unspoken romantic feelings for the other throughout their relationship.  In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility. These friendship pairs were then separated, and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study.

The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistentlyunderestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.

Men were also more willing to act on this mistakenly perceived mutual attraction. Both men and women were equally attracted to romantically involved opposite-sex friends and those who were single; “hot” friends were hot and “not” friends were not, regardless of their relationship status.  However, men and women differed in the extent to which they saw attached friends as potential romantic partners.  Although men were equally as likely to desire “romantic dates” with “taken” friends as with single ones, women were sensitive to their male friends’ relationship status and uninterested in pursuing those who were already involved with someone else.

These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.” What makes these results particularly interesting is that they were found within particularfriendships (remember, each participant was only asked about the specific, platonic, friend with whom they entered the lab). This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways. Men seem to see myriad opportunities for romance in their supposedly platonic opposite-sex friendships. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic.

To the outside observer, it seems clear that these vastly different views about the potential for romance in opposite-sex friendships could cause serious complications—and people within opposite-sex relationships agree. In a follow-up study, 249 adults (many of whom were married) were asked to list the positive and negative aspects of being friends with a specific member of the opposite sex. Variables related to romantic attraction (e.g., “our relationship could lead to romantic feelings”) were five times more likely to be listed as negative aspects of the friendship than as positive ones. However, the differences between men and women appeared here as well. Males were significantly more likely than females to list romantic attraction as a benefit of opposite-sex friendships, and this discrepancy increased as men aged—males on the younger end of the spectrum were four times more likely than females to report romantic attraction as a benefit of opposite-sex friendships, whereas those on the older end of the spectrum were ten times more likely to do the same.

Taken together, these studies suggest that men and women have vastly different views of what it means to be “just friends”—and that these differing views have the potential to lead to trouble. Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more. And even though both genders agree overall that attraction between platonic friends is more negative than positive, males are less likely than females to hold this view.

So, can men and women be “just friends?” If we all thought like women, almost certainly.  But if we all thought like men, we’d probably be facing a serious overpopulation crisis.

Are you a scientist who specializes in neuroscience, cognitive science, or psychology? And have you read a recent peer-reviewed paper that you would like to write about? Please send suggestions to Mind Matters editor Gareth Cook, a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist at the Boston Globe. He can be reached at garethideas AT gmail.com or Twitter @garethideas.

Follow Scientific American on Twitter @SciAm and @SciamBlogs. Visit ScientificAmerican.com for the latest in science, health and technology news.
© 2012 ScientificAmerican.com. All rights reserved.

The eye of the storm

I love driving.

When I passed my driving test, conscious that I had no-one to ask questions of or drive around with, I took the 'Pass Plus' - a few extra optional lessons taking a new driver through 'advanced' driving conditions. Soooooo, motorway driving, night time driving and driving in the rain are conditions that are covered. All these are however not meant to be covered on the same day. The 3rd of the 6 scheduled lessons covers motorway driving. 

Sooooo, the day for the 3rd lesson arrives bright and sunny and I am excited at the thought of being on a motorway. Driving with instructor unto 50mph motorway, I am fine until the road speed limit increases to 70mph. Okay, still fine with this, I move up to the new speed limit, then huge trucks begin whizzing by and the force makes the car rock. Gripping the steering wheel, I try to relax, tell my heart to stop racing when someone cuts across me, and I manage not to cuss my instructor when he motions me out of the 'slow' lane, into the middle lane! I still don't cuss him out when he motions me to overtake another car. A few miles of this, I actually stop flinching when trucks shoot by, begin to smile smugly thinking I am getting the hang of this, when suddenly the heavens open and heavy rain begins to pelt down.

Now, I can barely see 5 metres in front of me, trucks are still zooming past doing 80mph, and I am convinced 'I am coming home, coming home. Tell the Lord I'm coming home'. (Apologies to P Diddy for mangling his words).. Despite every nerve screaming otherwise, I am able (barely!) to stop myself swerving off the road, heading for the hard shoulder and turning off the engine and having an emotional breakdown! Creeping forward, trying to peer through the rain obscuring the windscreen, and the wipers which cannot keep up, reminding GOD desperately 'dat I get pikin for house', I attempt to calm down. But it gets worse! The rain becomes a storm! Thunder rumbles, lightning flashes, rain sleets down, and I am barely stopping myself SCREAMING!!

Then in typical UK fashion, it becomes pitch dark! A thunderstorm, heavy rain, a windscreen I cannot see out of, the noise of the wipers driving me crazy, a motorway full of impatient cars and now thick darkness??? This was more than a baptism of fire!

When we finally got my shaky, sweat-laden self back home after this waking nightmare, my instructor said nonchalantly, 'That went well and guess what? We also covered night-time driving and driving in adverse weather conditions. Okay next lesson, we'll do driving down narrow country roads.' I could have killed him on the spot!

A week after this stormy baptism, I found myself having to go to Gatwick to pick someone up. So there I am on the motorway by myself less than 2 weeks after passing my main driving test. (The Pass Plus is not a driving test). 5.30am in the morning, it was dark, raining, and extremely foggy, there were horrible road works, I could barely see 5 metres ahead, heavy trucks were whizzing by me, my daft car kept jerking to the left, I didn't know how to get there and was attempting to navigate my way with a map, but despite these less than ideal conditions, my heart was totally at peace. Fear was gone.

What that horrible 'Pass Plus' day did for me was it made me 'fearless' on the road. I still don't like particularly like driving in heavy rain or snow but it doesn't scare me in anyway. However, I do love driving very very much (I can't park well to save my life but that's a different story!! LOL). As for motorways? I love em and the ability to drive very fast on them! And I totally adore night time driving. To relax, I'll go for a long drive at night - whizzing down a dark motorway, air-conditioner blowing, music pumping, is a feeling of total happiness!

Sometimes, GOD will put us (or allow us to go) through testing trying conditions to make us stronger. During the period we are going through the storm, our teeth chatter, our knuckles whiten, and our hearts race. We see death and disaster around every corner - however, there's one thing to remember. The instructor is sitting right by you, ready to take over if you run into trouble or conditions you cannot cope with. And once you've come through that test and conquered that storm, that situation ceases to faze you. You'll fearlessly stride through similar conditions later. Faith has arisen and grown, GOD is trusted more. 

xx

Soar like a Butterfly ... Life is beautiful

Sometimes you have to be smart enough to hold on, and at other times brave enough to let go. Have the tenacity to stick like glue but always retain the courage to walk away.

Open your hand, so you don't crush your dreams.  Dreams can be as beautiful & as fragile as a butterfly's wings. Cradle your dreams lightly and gently in your hands, don’t be as careless & heedless as a child who destroys the beautiful fluttering butterfly in the frenzied attempt to grab it.

If you've let your dreams grow wings, then give them the freedom to soar, to experience life. Lay down all that's dear to you and have the courage to raise the knife. GOD will provide a replacement Ram.

Grow, stretch, develop, challenge yourself. Let yesterday be a building block for today. Let today be a stronger foundation for tomorrow.

Life is a series of options and choices - some good, some bad, some brilliant, some dismal.  Some will turn out well, others extremely badly. But every choice, every decision made, every option taken, every avenue explored, creates the huge canvas that is our individual story. Your canvas is made up of many colours; some restful, others jarring, some muted, others vibrant. But in the paintbrush of the talented Master Artist, the busy but restful, bright while dark, colourful yet soothing, painting on your canvas becomes a unique one-off. A timeless priceless masterpiece.

Soar like your butterfly. Life is truly beautiful... 

xx

Man on the Moon ... RIP Neil Armstrong

Sonshine just burst into my room to tell me the first guy on the moon, Neil Armstrong is dead.  Now because I've been following the Lance Armstrong story, I was a trifle staggered. My mind leapt to a million and one scenarios ...how did he die? What had happened after he said yesterday he would no longer fight the doping allegations? (Something I totally support - seems like a witch-hunt to wear him down. Spending millions to defend yourself for years against an agency that is tax-payer funded and seems to have a personal agenda against you must be nothing but a frustrating no-win battle). Then I heard sonshine say he was 82?? Ok, wrong Armstrong!! I immediately thought of Louis Armstrong but thought 'didn't he die ages ago?' You can tell my brain's a lil slow today ... LOL. Sonshine said - Mom!! Neil Armstrong!! I immediately remembered that I have a space geek for a son, so of course, it would be about THAT Armstrong.

And the REM song 'Man on the Moon' immediately came to mind. Now, I know that the REM song is a tribute to Andy Kaufman and nothing to do with the Moon etc but the two have always been entangled in my mind. I also have a nature that reaches for things that are out of reach .. the difficult .. that which stretches .. I call it it 'reaching for the Moon' ... don't ever tell me anything that I really want is impossible, I actually simply think you mean I should try harder... *giggle*

So, I totally respect Neil Armstrong - Astronaut, first man on the Moon. He conquered a out-of-this-world surface everyone said was impossible. Millions over the centuries had stared at the Moon and must have dreamt about going there. Many tried and failed but Armstrong and his team and NASA believed and believed and worked and worked and refused to give up in the face of the failure of other teams, of the tragic deaths, of overwhelming odds. They dedicated their lives to chasing this ideal - to conquering this cold white surface that was totally out of reach but seemingly close enough to touch.

I have always wondered how Neil Armstrong felt in that moment of stepping out unto the Moon. July 20th 1969, 22:56 hrs EDT, watched breathlessly by over half a Billion people around the world, the first man stepped out unto the Lunar surface. His words 'One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind' were a lot more prophetic than he might have thought. After the first successful Moon landing, mankind has gone on to do greater things. We routinely send people into Space.  We have Satellites that Orbit the earth. Now commercial firms offer space flights for ordinary people. Ruinously expensive at the moment, tis clear, the day will come when prices comes down and are affordable. We are discovering our Universe and nothing seems out of reach any more. The World watched breathless a few days ago as live video feed was beamed from the planet Mars, by NASA's 'Mars Lander'.

That's what happens when you let go of your fears and reach, strive, fight, push back obstacles for what you really want. Suddenly, a whole new world of opportunities open up. You grow, you challenge yourself, you reach for the stars, and if you are my son - you want to be the first man to land on the Sun. Yes, yes, totally crazy eh? But do you think someone told Neil Armstrong he was crazy the first time he said as a kid 'I wanna go to the Moon'?

Dream new dreams. Dream CRAZY dreams. Reach for the impossible. Let nothing stop you. Refuse to settle for less. Refuse to settle for the mediocre. Refuse to accept the commonplace. Refuse to hear everyone tell you 'this is how it's always been done'. If you have a burning driving passion inside you, then reach out, pursue it, grab it, live it. 

Do you refuse to settle for 'pat' answers? Do you keep questioning? Do you refuse to be like everyone else just so you can fit in? Many people think having faith in GOD means you should have no questions. When I read my bible, I see different. I find a GOD who delights in engaging with man. Who freely gives the gift of Wisdom. Who is thrilled when a man or woman refuses to take no for an answer and instead appeals to His grace, mercy and love. What kind of GOD would want dumb followers who do not ask questions? Who do not seek deeper knowledge? Who do not want to know Him deeper? GOD is not afraid of your questions for one moment. GOD does not think in the box and is delighted when you think out of the box and stop trying to enclose Him in the tiny little box that is the close-minded human mind. 

He chuckles when you refuse to accept the logical and begin banging down Heaven's door. He delights in people who refuse to accept the discouragement of the crowd saying 'it doesn't make sense - just accept the inevitable'. So when the Shunamite woman's child died, and she refused to swing into funeral preparation mode, but instead was - 'If GOD gave me this child, then GOD will resurrect this child', you could almost hear the tangible excitement in Heaven. Finally, someone who understood that with GOD 'Nothing is impossible'! 

So, here's my lil tribute to Neil Armstrong, to you, to me, to everyone dreaming impossible dreams ... REM's  'Man On The Moon'.  Enjoy.

xx

Herman Cain's Gingergate ... Ginger White Alleges 13yr affair

Finally Herman Cain's 9-9-9 pizza of; women, denial and arrogance, appears to have become a splattered mess.

Ginger White, a 46yr old woman has given a press conference and several interviews to allege she and Cain had a 13yr affair. Ginger White doesn't appear crazy, look like a stalker, or sound like she is shaking him down for money. She's shown proof of numerous calls & texts and has hard details of their on-again off-again relationship. Cain's denial increasingly sound extremely hollow.

I am not throwing stones. Sh*t happens. People make mistakes and get into inappropriate relationships - affairs take place. That is reality. I do not think an affair disqualifies him from the presidency. Perfection is not a requirement for political office. A 13yr affair with the same woman speaks of more than just sex or a fling. Being with a woman for 13 years even in an on-again off-again relationship sounds like something where there was at least a measure of affection on both sides. According to Ginger White, the relationship finally ended when Cain decided to run for the presidency. In other words, he only 'threw her under the bus' for his presidency ambitions. I speculate that if he had not been running for the presidency, the relationship would probably still have continued. Humans are complex - Cain sounds like a man caught between his wife and his mistress - caring for both while doing his best to keep both parts of his life separate. While the morality police will have a lot to say about this, I simply say - 'let him who is without sin cast the first stone'. Cain's relationship with Ginger is strictly a matter between Cain and his wife.

However, it is Cain's continued denial that is a matter for concern re his political aspirations. It makes it a lot more likely that the 4 women who accused him of sexually harassing them were speaking the truth. Cain appears to have a disconnect with owning up to the truth even when he has his hand caught in the cookie jar. Look, most people can understand why a married person might initially denying having an affair if caught. However, it is one thing to first deny it to one's spouse before crumbling and telling the truth, and a totally different thing to look 300 million American people in the eye and to keep denying denying denying. It is even more tacky to find he is blaming his political opponents and calling it 'gutter politics'.

Cain can still turn this around. He needs to throw himself on the mercy of the American voting public. They need to see him humble and repentant. An interview where Cain confesses he did wrong, has had issues, wants to apologise for all the hurt he has caused, and he has apologised to and made up with his wife, might just help him get past this. However, his play-book of denying it all, is no longer working. Soon he'll become a laughing stock and be known as a liar.

However, it needs to be stated all these accusations are only allegations thus far. If Cain is innocent, he should also schedule an interview, forcefully tell the American voters all these stories are lies, produce as much evidence as possible to back up his truth and challenge the 5 women making the different allegations to produce hard evidence. His lack of a forceful defence while telling the press to go away, just smacks of total arrogance and a disconnect from reality.

This is NOT a black thing. If Cain's opponents are behind leaking the stories, they would have done the exact same thing if he was a white politician. Anyone running for political office has to know their personal life becomes fair game. The only way to defuse a story of this nature is to get in front of it and to tell the truth. Voters forgive personal-life mistakes - they find it much more difficult to forgive politicians who lie to them and refuse to admit the truth.

Sadly Cain's arrogance does not seem to have any room for humility. It is humility that allows us to admit that we have done wrong. Humility apologises and takes responsibility - however arrogance denies the truth and blames everyone else.

Saving Herman Cain's historic run as GOP presidential candidate is now firmly in Cain's hands. It will be interesting to see what he does next.

xx 

You aint British, You're black! Video of Racist rant on Croydon Tram

"You ain't British, you're black! Go back to your 'effing' countries."

This video isn't simply distressing - it is also extremely sad. After years of the tabloid press whipping up popular sentiment against immigrants, is it surprising this young woman vents against blacks, the Polish and Asians? These menacing 'others' have stolen her country. She is carrying a child on her lap. How does the child not grow up spewing forth the same evil?

The tram is is a microcosm of multi-cultural Britain. White, Black, Brown commuters, numerous cultures and races represented. One black passenger on the tram says something many immigrants feel and the film 'Dirty Pretty Things' depicted - "Native English don't want to work, we come here to do the jobs you don't want."

The young barely incoherent lady whose vocabulary is littered with F this and F that, is to be pitied. Her country has let her down - she sounds poorly educated, in a country where a contracting economy means hope is fast fading, where newly arrived immigrants pick up jobs within a week while native British are on the dole for years. Fear, poverty and a shrinking economy is causing people to turn against their neighbours, to blame others for their lack of jobs, instead of blaming a poor education and no qualifications which leaves them ill-prepared for the real world.

Racism is deep and ugly but its ugly tentacles have spread everywhere. I have heard black British people talk about how Eastern Europeans are stealing their jobs and advocate that Eastern Europeans should go back home. The face of racism is ugly and distorted whether it is white or black, yellow or brown.

Have a look at the video - the subject matter will upset some - however, she's only saying what a lot of people feel inside but stay silent about. I believe it's better to have the ugly words out in the open so they can begin a national discourse, than to bury them and pretend everything is okay. British Racism is nice and polite, it is so subtle that you don't realise it is there until you get an itch beneath your skin; when you are followed by security guards in expensive shops in the West End,  when the police pull you over for the crime of driving a nice car, and neighbours assume you must be renting if you live in an expensive neighbourhood.

The racist lady ranter has been arrested. It is nice that another White passenger on the tram told her to keep quiet. This video does not demonstrate all the UK, just a very ugly part of it.

The retrial of the alleged killers of Stephen Lawrence is currently taking place. The inquiry into the first handling of that case 18 years ago stated there was a culture of institutional racism in the police force. Some things have changed for the better, other things have stayed the same.

The economic collapse and fear for the future has fuelled the rise of the EDL (English Defence League), a racist organisation that organises marches and demonstrations and like the BNP claims to want to keep Britain for the British.

These racists need to know Britain has always been a country of immigrants; the Romans, the French, Scandanavians, Polish, Spanish Jews, African sailors, Jewish refugees, Ugandan Asians, West Indians etc. Wave after wave of immigrants over the centuries have contributed and left their stamp upon the melting pot that Britain is today. Inter-racial unions and marriages in Britain are probably the highest percentage of any European country. It is reckoned that about 10% of the Brtitish population is mixed race.

I like Britain. In general it is a friendly country. However it only takes a bigot like this to blow the lid off the civilized veneer and show the ugly pockets of racism that still lurk and bubble below.

xx

Do Turkeys give thanks for thanksgiving?? LOL

I asked a question on Facebook earlier today: "Do turkeys give thanks for thanksgiving??"

Below are a summary of the answers flying back and forth :

"Yup, all the other turkeys gather together the day after thanksgiving to give thanks for surviving another thanksgiving! They keep out a beady eye, looking over their shoulders until the next one."

"I am certain every turkey that escapes alive on Thanksgiving gobbles massively in thanksgiving."

"Turkeys can give thanks but then Xmas comes round."

"Like Paddy Ashdown asked: Do turkeys vote for Xmas?"

"British turkeys are presently sweating under their feathers despite the cold weather. Unedited reports of the great slaughter that befell their American cousins across the pond has reached them. The news has been smuggled out by 2 brave i-turkey reporters reporting for TNN (Turkey News Network)."

"Hmmm, what might a turkey thanksgiving day be like? I see a group of turkeys gathered around, solemnly nodding and gobbling."

"Wonder what turkeys might eat for their thanksgiving dinner?"

"Breaking TNN (Turkey News Network) Report: Surviving turkeys lose their appetites on Turkey Thanksgiving day... after their near-death experience on Human Thanksgiving day."

"Whatcha talking about? Near death experience?? Did they see the bright lights of the Oven?"

"Wonder if the turkeys all flap together in a corner, smoothing down their feathers and trying to look as skinny as possible when the humans come to cull em?" 

"Winner of the Turklitzer prize: The rise of anorexic and bulimia in Turkeyville. Turkeys warned to shun food or throw up after meals. Slim turkeys stay healthier and live longer - they keep their heads!"

"Winner of Turkey ad slogan of the year: Above all, remember Turkeys, FAT KILLS!!" 

"The skinnier the turkey, the greater their chances of surviving Thanksgivings and Xmases, and of being able to attend the Turkeytron Praise-Party!"

"Above all, remember Turkeys, FAT KILLS!!" That must be the best print advert yet to be launched in TurkeyVille... #still-gasping-for-breath# Lol!"

"The skinnier the turkeys..."

"... the longer the life-span & the louder the shouts, oops, gobbles of turkey praise!"

"No wonder...the turkey I had today was pretty fat and juicy. You are right joor, it is survival of the skinniest turkeys!"

"Yup, only fat greedy turkeys get gobbled! Skinny turkeys escape death - hahahahaha."

"Turkeytron Praise-Party! Oh gosh, I see some skinny turkeys jumping up & down in joyous abandon, flapping those wings & breaking out into the new gobble dance!"

The responses above made me crack up. Hope it's made you smile a lil too as you try to digest the mounds of turkey and stuffing consumed earlier today.

Live life to the fullest. Laugh a little. 

xx

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

We don't celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK, but I've always loved the idea of the American Thanksgiving. While it's true it's been commercialised beyond belief, the idea of a day set aside so friends and family gather together to eat, chill, kick-back, watch a game or two, and by their presence together give unspoken thanks for just being together, is an awesome idea.

It's got me thinking. What am I thankful for? How about instead of just a day of Thanksgiving, I have a week or month of Thanksgiving? (Hey, I know I should be thankful everyday but as I find myself muttering and complaining loads, let me go for a week, a month of no complaints, just thanks). Just give thanks to God every single day for His goodness & kindness to me, my world's greatest son, my loved ones, my amazing friends, my health, my brains, my career, my finances, my writing - let me give thanks whether things are going as well as I would like or not.

It is easy to be thankful when our lives fall into the order that we want. Only a boor is not thankful when life is working out just fine. It however can be mega-difficult to be thankful when life throws you a curve-ball you really truly absolutely do not want. But like Russel Brand's character in the film 'Get Him to The Greek' says, "When life throws you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall." (Watch the film & you'll totally understand. You'll also laugh like crazy!)

So for all my American friends, as you devour heaps of Turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potato, candied yams, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie,vegetables, rolls, corn, etc, pause for a moment and really give thanks. Give thanks you still have a job, give thanks for good health, give thanks for your spouse and kids, give thanks for the roof over your head, give thanks for the food you have on the table, give thanks for the friends around the table. You might think your job is crappy but some-one out there is praying for a job, any job. Some-one's in hospital wishing for good health, someone's crying because they don't have a spouse, someone's heart is broken because they are infertile and can't have kids, someone's home just been repossessed or they live in fear waiting for the bank to take away their home, someone can't afford to put food on the table or worse still, has had their power cut off for non-payment so can't cook a meal, someone's moved to a new city and is finding it difficult to make friends. Someone's struggling to be thankful as they look around a table that's lost a loved one to death.

Open your home to a stranger and invite a lonely friend in to celebrate with you.

There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. If you have 9 things in your life going wrong and only one thing going right, change your mindset and heart-set. Begin to give thanks daily for the one thing that's right and say nothing about the 9 wrong things. In a very short space of time, you'll be surprised to find yourself thankful about all 10 things. Why? Because a thankful attitude has been cultivated. Soon, you'll see your challenges as blessings to make you grow, not as obstacles to destroy you.

So what am I truly overwhelmingly most thankful for? A God who loves me absolutely and totally, A God of love whose idea of judgement and mercy is to send His son Jesus to take my sins upon Himself and pay the price for my misdeeds. GOD ROCKS!

What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. xx

Cain's Libya Fiasco - watch the disastrous video interview.

Aas many readers might know, I have previously written a  blog postcard about Herman Cain's sexual harassment allegations problem. Whilst I believe he has handled that very badly, and I also think his 9-9-9 economic plan is a targeted assault against the middle-class, poor and vulnerable, I have always thought that as a very successful business man, he would be mega-smart, on the ball, and able to pick up new things quickly.

Now, I don't know if Cain froze with the cameras on him, or his handlers just sent him off into this interview ill-prepared. This video is almost painful to watch. At first he doesn't seem to know where Libya is or what President Obama's role has been, and then it goes downhill from there. Please watch the video posted below yourself.

What can one say about the current crop of Republican candidates? Bachmann is a crackpot, Ron Paul is eccentric, Cain is becoming more of an embarrassment by the day, Perry is ill-prepared, Santorum (huh? who?). The intelligent thoughtful candidates, Huntsman and Romney, are not liked by the Republican party. Gringich is also intelligent but carries an enormous amount of baggage. It is almost enough for one to want Sarah Palin to run!

President Obama might have had a difficult 3 years in office, but one thing is clear - if he wins the elections in 2012, the Republican party will have lost the election because it has allowed its soul to be bought and owned by the Tea Party. The Tea Party's agenda of slash & burn, take no prisoners, no compromise, do not work with the other side under ANY circumstances, is destroying a Grand Old Party that was once known for thoughtful intellectual ideas. True conservatism is not despise the poor and make the rich richer.

The Tea Party's agenda is also destroying the USA. Poll after poll shows that majority of Americans favour spending cuts AND also raising tax on corporations and the wealthy. Any sensible person knows if a country cuts spending but does not increase revenue, it is harder for a country to grow than if  a government cuts spending but also finds way to increase revenue. The so-called job creators (the corporations) are not creating jobs or wealth in America but are shipping American jobs overseas. American Corporations are job creators all right - in CHINA and INDIA & for Chinese and Indian workers!

No political party should ever allow itself to be hijacked by a small radical wing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WW_nDFKAmCo

Berlusconi quotes - Sex, Bunga Bunga parties, Escorts, being German, Aids.

Silvio Berlusconi has finally resigned as Italian prime minister after 18years in the job. Italians are out dancing in the street in delight. There are parties being thrown to celebrate the momentous day. Hundreds lined the streets to jeer and pelt Berlusconi's official car with missiles as he drove to give his resignation.

While Italians were divided in their opinion on Berlusconi, many Italians saw him as a national embarrassment. He seemed to commit a gaffe every time he opened his mouth.

Here are some of his more memorable quotes:

"When asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30% of women said, 'Yes', while the other 70% replied, 'What, again?'"

"All of us have a homosexual part of 25%, which I also have. The only thing is that I, after a profound examination, have realised that my homosexual part is lesbian."

'Girls are lining up outside my door but I have to turn them away. I do only eight girls a night, because I can't do more.'

On Italy's growing economic crisis: "Life in Italy is life in a prosperous country. We see that on every occasion, consumption has not gone down, the restaurants are full, you have trouble booking seats on aeroplanes, holiday areas are totally booked out on long weekends. I don't think that if you went to live in Italy that Italy is feeling anything that could resemble a serious crisis."

"In Italy I am almost seen as German for my workaholism. Also I am from Milan, the city where people work the hardest. Work, work, work - I am almost German." 

"In my opinion, and not only mine, I am the best prime minister we can find today."

"The best political leader in Europe and in the world." 

Berlusconi suggests his ruling PDL party should rename itself "Forza Gnocca!", a play on the name of his original Forza Italia! (Go Italy!) party, using a slang term for female genitals. 

Advocating women should marry rich, older men: "Women are lining up to marry me. Legend has it, I know how to do it."

Berlusconi brags of "doing only eight girls a night, because I couldn't do more."

"It's better to like beautiful girls than to be gay,"

Berlusconi tells survivors of an earthquake camping in emergency tents: "They should look at it as a weekend of camping."

“Barack Obama is handsome, young and also suntanned"

"I am the Jesus Christ of politics, I am a patient victim, I put up with everyone, I sacrifice myself for everyone."

Berlusconi promises to give up sex until the next election. "Thank you dear Father Massimiliano," he tells a preacher who praised him for defending family values. "I'll try not to let you down and I promise you two and a half months of complete sexual abstinence until April 9."

On Finnish President Tarja Halonen: “I had to use all my playboy tactics, even if they have not been used for some time,"

"Mussolini never killed anyone. Mussolini sent people on holiday in (internal) exile," Berlusconi claims the  dictator was "benign".

On himself: "One citizen is equal to another (in the eyes of the law) but perhaps this one is slightly more equal than the others, given that 50 percent of Italians have given him the responsibility of governing the country"

Encouraging laid-off workers to find employment on the black market. "The most keen can certainly find a second job, maybe unofficial."

During a group photograph at an informal EU summit in Spain, Berlusconi raises two fingers behind the head of the Spanish foreign minister, Josep Pique, in the traditional Latin gesture for a cuckold.

"We should be conscious of the superiority of our civilisation, which consists of a value system that has given people widespread prosperity in those countries that embrace it, and guarantees respect for human rights and religion. This respect certainly does not exist in the Islamic countries."

"I unfortunately have never in my life been to a wild party."

"I deserve to be left in peace: enough violations of privacy."

"I am not a saint, you've all understood that."

On paying for sex: "I never understood where the satisfaction is when you're missing the pleasure of conquest."

"If I wasn't already married, I would marry you right away." Comment to a woman at a TV awards dinner.

"With you, I'd go anywhere." Comment to another woman.

Opinion about Italian secretaries: "Italy is now a great country to invest in. Today we have fewer communists and those who are still there deny having been one. Another reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries, superb girls."

"I am without doubt the person who's been the most persecuted in the entire history of the world and the history of man."

"There is no-one on the world stage who can compete with me."

"Out of love for Italy, I felt I had to save it from the left."

"The right man in the right job."

"I don't need to go into office for the power. I have houses all over the world, stupendous boats, beautiful airplanes, a beautiful wife, a beautiful family - I am making a sacrifice."

Mr Berlusconi jokes about Aids: "An Aids patient asks his doctor whether the sand treatment prescribed him will do any good. 'No', the doctor replies, 'but you will get accustomed to living under the earth'."

His response when told the joke was offensive: "They have lost their minds; they really have come to the end of the line, indeed they have gone beyond it. I would advise them, too, to undergo sand treatment."

Larger than life, colourful, defiant, obnoxious, bombastic, frankly often offensive - love him or hate him, there are not many politicians like Silvio Berlusconi. There will be many Italians hoping his retirement from politics is a permanent one. However with Berlusconi, who can tell? He has come-back many more times than can be counted.

xx

11-11-11. Wearing the Poppy. Armistice Day

11.11.11. It is a fascinating date. Pseudo-biblical scholars are claiming to understand and explain the eschatology of the date, some funny 'shakra' people (whatever that means) are claiming it is the perfect alignment of shakras, faults running beneath the faults and mind-boggling other rubbish, the BBC reports that Egypt has shut down a Pyramid to stop some 'weirdos' carrying out strange ceremonies, and a friend joked about a portal opening up in space and the aliens landing!! LOL.

I prefer to dwell on Armistice day. The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month  of 1918 marked the day that an armistice (or a permanent truce) was signed marking the cessation of hostilities and the end of the World War 1 and the deaths of millions of young men in Europe.

Over 20 million died in the war, 9 million of them on the battlefields. Millions of young men, 'the flower of Europe, the flower of the Empire, White, Black, Asian', died in horrible 'unwinnable' battles for reasons many of them did not know and never fully understood. The politicians told them it was to save their nations, so they signed up or were drafted. It is said the battle fields were soaked with blood. Poison gas, tanks, deafening fire-power, chlorine gas, were utilised by the warring nations, many used for the very first time. Artillery pounding was so pervasive it went on for days without a break. Soldiers were deafened, their nerves torn to shreds. They lived in mud-filled trenches, watching compatriots die next to them or die in their arms. Many of those who survived  went home shell-shocked, crippled in body and mind, suffering from what we now call post-traumatic stress disorder. They came back with their stiff-upper lips intact and went straight back to any jobs they could find to get on with the jobs of providing for their families.

In 1920, their nations honoured them by instituting a 2 min silence on Armistice day. Armistice day has now been expanded to include the dead of WW11 and those who have died in all the other wars including Iraq and the conflict still raging in Afghanistan.

In the UK, red poppies are sold by the Royal British Legion as a fund-raising tool to provide for soldiers. The charity provides financial, social and emotional support to those who have served or who are currently serving in the British Armed forces, and their dependants.  Numerous nations also follow this practice. Millions buy poppies and wear them, either in respect of the day, to honour both serving soldiers and veterans, or as a respectful commemoration for relatives who have died in battle. No matter what one feels about war, the hatred should not be passed on to soldiers who are ordinary men and women, doing their jobs, following the orders of their superiors who are also carrying out the orders of their political overlords, who are ultimately voted in by the electorate. So if there's a soldier who  has died on a battlefield, the electorate have a duty to honour the soldier's sacrifice as the electorate are the ones voting in the politicians who push forth the war agenda. No soldier starts a war all by himself.

A friend also said he commemorates the day by remembering  millions who died or were trafficked and sold  in the Trans-Saharan slave-trade. It is another beautiful way of remembering the day. Millions of men, women and children died in another war - an economic war between Nations racing towards winning the battle of  trade and industry. It is a war that is still taking place today and breeding modern-day slavery, but that is the topic for another day and another blog postcard.

I also remember the millions who have died in wars in Africa: The Nigeria-Biafra civil war, the Sierra-Leone civil war, the Liberia Civil war, Rwanda's brutal war of ethnic cleansing, Sudan's civil war, the just concluded civil war in Libya, the civil war still raging in the Congo and so many more. Ultimately soldiers fight battles, not because they choose to, but because they are sent to fight battles.

Churchill said in his famous speech: 'Never was so much owed by so many to so few'. Every time a man or woman straps on their armour to venture forth into a battle many of them know they will die in or be injured in, they give up their lives for their countries. Whether you are pro-war, anti-war, a conscientious objector or  frankly just totally apathetic, when your country sends its young men and women into battle, blame the politicians if you must, but respect the soldier.

Honour the soldier. Remember their sacrifice. Pray for their families.